See You Again
by BrianaEllington
Summary: Olivia attends Kathleen Stabler's wedding, and is forced to face Elliot once and for all. Is she ready to address their fallout? Does he have a valid excuse? Do they recover?
1. Chapter 1

_**And yet again, I am starting a new story. I know, I know. I'm terrible. I will be posting from my phone for awhile so please excuse the typos. Enjoy!**_

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Asked Fin, settling little Noah into his arms and popping a bottle into his mouth.

"I'm absolutely positive..." she said, smiling down at the infant and tugging up the little striped sock that threatened to slip off Noah's chubby foot. "This isn't about him, or us.."

"If he mistreats you, call me and little man and I will be down there in a jiffy to kick his ass."

"Oh, he knows I'd kick his ass." Olivia chuckled softly. "Elliot Stabler is many things, but stupid is not one of them."

Fin leaned against her bedroom door frame, watching as she slipped a pair of tan high heels on. "I just don't want you to get hurt... because you know someone else will have to get hurt, too."

"I'm a big girl, Fin."

"Doesn't change how I feel."

Olivia shook her head in disbelief, so deeply appreciating Fin's care for her, but loathing the fact that he made her feel like a child.

"Okay.." she slapped her hands against

"Thank you for watching him for me..." Olivia said softly, kissing Noah's temple and combing back his full head of hair. "I'll try and be back early..."

"Stay out as long as you need, I can handle him."

"I don't intend on socializing.. I'm only going for the kids. I just wanna drop off my gift and say congratulations, that's all." She assured, grabbing her purse off the bed and checking its contents one last time.

Fin shrugged, "whatever you say."

"Do I look okay?" She asked self consciously, tugging down the appropriately fitting pink dress.

"Who are you trying to impress?" He smirked, noticing the way she smoothed down the fabric over her stomach and glanced back at her ass one last time.

"Do you always have to be such a jerk?" She chuckled, kissing Noah's head and looping her finger into his tiny fist.

"It's my job."

"Yeah, well your _job_ tonight is to take extra good care of my son..." she smiled. "I'll call you in a bit to check in."

"Have fun." Fin said.

She rolled her eyes, knowing that anything involving Elliot Stabler would not be fun for her at the moment. She was still immensely angry with him for disappearing without a trace, but she knew that today wasn't about them. It wasn't about rehashing the past, or giving him a few choice words. It was Kathleen Stabler's wedding day, and there was no way in hell she'd ruin that.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

"Why did I do this..." she muttered for the fifth time on the drive upstate, nervously flipping through the radio stations and chewing on the same piece of gum that had lost flavor five minutes after she put it in her mouth.

_Kathleen. That's why._

Sometimes she hated how caring she was. That she couldn't turn the other way and pretend that Elliot Stabler and his five children didn't exist. But there was absolutely no way she could ever forget her best friend, and no matter how badly she wanted to hate him, she couldn't. Not fully. Half of her forgave Elliot for putting his family and his sanity above the job, but the other half loathed every ounce of him for abandoning her. She mattered too, dammit.

_Turn right in one thousand feet_, the GPS instructed. And she followed, flipping up her blinker and turning onto the little dirt road. Gravel flew all around her and she cursed as one hit her windshield and threatened to crack it.

She looked in her rearview mirror at the dust clouding behind her and wondered if she could get away with turning around and going back to her son in Manhattan.

She kept telling herself that she wasn't afraid of him. That she could face him. But the more she heard herself mumble, "you can do it", the more discouraged she got. She didn't want things to come to a crash, but she knew that they had to. She knew that she was going to see him, without a doubt, but that didn't mean she was ready.

Olivia pulled up to the beautiful and huge Victorian home and let out a small, shaky breath as she put the car in park beside a row of others. She was late, and was sure the ceremony had already begun. Looking over herself one last time in the reflection of her car door, and giving her short hair one last ruffle, she finally followed the handmade chalk signs pointing towards the backyard.

She stumbled all the way to the backyard, her heels sinking into the grass and nearly causing her to fall with every step she took. The ceremony was almost over, so she stood in the back as the couple said the last of their vows and shared their first kiss as husband and wife. As she clapped along with everybody, she wondered if there was marriage in her future.

She wondered if she would ever find someone to spend the rest of her life with, someone that would love her son and love her until the end of time. Brian didn't want that. He didn't want anything with her, and at times she wondered why she was even with him as long as she was. Loneliness, she guesses. Familiarity.

Whatever it was, she was sorry it wasn't enough to make them work.

As the bride and groom made their way back up the aisle, Kathleen landed her eyes on the one woman she was really hoping to see that day. She smiled widely and reached for Olivia's arm. "Wait for me, I'll catch up!"

Olivia nodded as Kathleen released her hand and continued to happily walk away from the crowd and into the house.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Kathleen giggled as she walked inside the house with her husband's hand placed firmly on the small of her back as he held her close to him.

"We did it, baby..." he whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers. "You're mine, now and forever."

"Ooooh, possessive, are we?" She teased, nipping at his lips.

"I love you, Kathleen Devereaux."

"And I love you, Jason Devereaux." Kathleen wrapped her arms around his neck, kissed him long and hard and threw her head back. The tips of her long blond hair resting against the strong pair of arms that were wrapped securely around her waist. "We're married!"

He laughed as she did, taking the opportunity to kiss the soft, pale skin of her neck. "That we are, my beautiful princess."

Olivia approached the happy newlyweds, and chuckled softly as Kathleen smiled at her with her head still upside down.

"Liv!" Kathleen exclaimed, standing upright and hopping out of her husband's arms before rushing into Olivia's. "I'm so glad you came!"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Kathleen." Olivia smiled, hugging the girl as tight as she could.

"This is my fia-" she laughed heartily and slapped her hand to her mouth. "That's gonna take some getting used to! Olivia, this is my _husband_, Jason."

"It's nice to meet you, Olivia.." Jason said, sticking his hand out and shaking hers. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Jason's mind clicked. "Wait, _the_ Olivia? Your dad's badass partner?"

"In the flesh!" Kathleen beamed, knowing just how many breathtaking stories her dad had shared with Jason about his former partner. _Strong, wise, and beautiful._ He'd say. _But don't let her beauty fool you. She's a pain in the ass.. but worth it._

Jason always assumed there was once something between Olivia and Elliot, something deeper than having one another's six. He even asked Kathleen who set him straight. Just friends, so she says. And now that he's actually seen this mystery Olivia Benson, he's surprised Elliot didn't make a move on the woman.

"Well now it is certainly an honor to meet you, Olivia." Jason said with a smile.

"It's an honor to meet you, too, Jason... anyone crazy enough to marry into this family is okay in my book." She teased, winking at Kathleen.

"I guess my dad is a little nuts..." Kathleen laughed.

"More so than a jar of JIF." Olivia smirked.

A blond woman approached them from the left of the crowd carrying a sleeping toddler.

"Kathleen, we've gotta go out front for pict-Olivia?"

"Hi, Maureen!" Olivia smiled, hugging her careful not to wake the sleeping little girl wearing a big fluffy pink dress with a rose petal tucked into her white Mary Jane's.

"Oh, my god! I can't believe you came! Kat said she invited you, but I didn't think..." Maureen shut her mouth and smiled softly. "y'know what, screw what I thought. You're here!"

"You guys know that I'd never intentionally miss something important in your lives. Speaking of... is she yours?" Olivia asked, softly brushing back the little blond curls that covered the little girl's face.

"Biologically, no. She's my boyfriend's daughter, but I love her nonetheless." Maureen smiled, kissing the little girl's head. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but Kat we've really gotta take these pictures so I can get out of this dress. My boobs are falling out every time I move!"

"Well, blame grandma for blessing you with big jugs." Kathleen shrugged, picking up her dress so that she didn't step on it as she walked. "Liv, sit at any table you'd like. We'll be back as soon as we can."

"Smile pretty!" Olivia said, patting Maureen on the back. "And I want lots of copies, ladies."

"You've got it, boss!"  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Olivia tapped her fingers against the top of the table as she listened to the music that blared around her. The outside reception was held under a huge white tent, and everything looked so beautiful. The red roses that centered every table popped against the white linens, and the Swarovski vases they were nestled in glistened against Olivia's eyes.

She was losing herself in a different world, the made-up one inside her head. The one that displayed her dancing with her head rested against a man's chest as she wore a white dress and the soft love lyrics played around them.

"Did you hear a word I just said?"

And just like that, her fake husband was gone.

"I'm sorry... what was that?" Olivia asked, looking over at Elliot's youngest daughter, Elizabeth. She made it known that she was now to be referred to as Elizabeth and not Lizzie, because Lizzie was not the name that came to mind when she heard the words "Law Student".

Elizabeth chuckled softly, pulling her dyed auburn hair into a bun at the top of her head. "I said that Jason will probably knock Kathleen up on their honeymoon and then Dad will kill him. Then all of this, the house, the money, it'll be hers."

Olivia shook her head with a small smirk on her lips. "You're bad, Elizabeth."

"I was only saying..." Elizabeth laughed, and then slowly faded as she watched Olivia turn towards the direction of Kathleen and Jason. "Olivia, can I ask you something?"

"Anything you want."

"Are you still mad at my dad?"

_Anything but that_.

"Your dad and I..." she sucked in a breath of air and shook her head.

"You hate each other?"

"No. I could never hate him."

"Then what?" Elizabeth pried, folding her arms atop the table.

"It's complicated."

"How so?"

"Elizabeth..." Olivia warned, not wanting to discuss this with Elliot's daughter.

"Olivia!" Came the excited squeals from the little boy who just jumped onto her lap and wrapped his tiny arms tightly around her neck.

"Eli, we were in the middle of something!" Elizabeth scolded, so desperately wanting to feel like an adult and get to the root of Olivia's problems.

"Oh, no this can't be my little Eli!" Olivia teased, poking him in the sides and chuckling as he laughed and squirmed in her arms.

"Okay, okay! Uncle!" Eli exclaimed, rolling onto his back as he laid in her lap.

"You've gotten so big..." Olivia said softly, brushing back the sweaty curls that adorned his head.

"Yep, I'm seven now, Olivia! My daddy said that when I'm eight-" Eli gasped and jumped off of Olivia's lap. "I'll be right back!"

"Okay," Olivia chuckled, watching as he dodged his way through Kathleen's guests.

"Boys." Elizabeth said, shaking her head softly.

Olivia smiled, wondering what Noah would be like when he reached Eli's age. And wondering even more if she'd be able to keep up with him.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Eli made his way through the crowd, his little blue eyes searching high and low for the one person he knew would be so happy to see Olivia.

Or so he thought.

He finally caught sight of him and ran as fast as he could, nearly tackling him into the bar once he reached him.

"Dad, come on!" Eli tugged on Elliot's tux jacket, trying desperately to pull him.

"Eli, I'm talking to your uncle Jack," Elliot said, pointing to his older brother that stood in front of him.

"It's important!"

"I said not now!" Elliot snapped.

"But Livia's here!"  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Elliot walked numbly after his son, not sure if he was ready to see the woman Eli couldn't stop talking about.

"Her dress is pink, Dad! She never wears pink!"

_She wore pink sometimes,_ he thought, able to count on one hand how many times he's seen her in pink. Not often, but sometimes.

Kathleen mentioned something about inviting her, but he brushed it off. "She won't come" he kept telling them. He knew it was important to Kathleen for Olivia to show up, but he didn't want her to be disappointed when she didn't.

His heart sped up when he finally spotted her. Sitting at the table across from Elizabeth, her back turned towards him. She ran her fingers through her hair, making the corners of his mouth lift a bit.

Eli jumped back into her lap causing her to laugh.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Olivia asked, pulling down his white button down that was already stained with _Cheetos_.

"I went to get dad," Eli said, pointing behind her at Elliot. "Say hi!"

Olivia turned around and her entire body was numb at the sight of him.

"Liv..."

And _God_, if hearing him mumble her name wasn't making her melt..

"You made it."

"Yeah..." she shook her head, kissed Eli's cheek and stood up, watching the little boy run to his father's side. "I've gotta... um.. ladies room."

"Wait," Elliot muttered, grabbing her arm as she tried to slip past him.

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, and his heart broke at the sadness in her cracked voice. "I can't."

_**Okay, so this is a story that's been playing in my mind for a few weeks and I just can't seem to let it go! And y'all know I just can't let go of EO. Liv and El forever! Please let me know if you like it! Xx**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I literally couldn't think of a summary for this story, so if you read this despite the crappy description, THANK YOU! You're all gems. :)**_

Olivia stood in the bathroom with her hands tightly gripping the counter and her eyes squeezed tightly shut, trying to block the tears and the headache that were now both prominently showing.

She had been preparing herself to see him for months. Ever since she received her little save the date, she tried to be okay with seeing Elliot again. She thought she was ready. She thought that she could handle seeing him, but the fact that she nearly fainted when she heard him say her name told her that she was very wrong.

_You need to get out there, _she kept telling herself, trying so desperately to get her legs to move and walk out of the bathroom with her head held high.. but every time she tried, every time she looked up at herself in the mirror, she felt broken. Defeated. Absolutely torn down. The exact way she felt when she locked herself in that interrogation room and broke down when he left.

It was all too much.

Here she was, trying to move on with her life, and in marches Elliot Stabler. Tall and handsome, and burning a hole in her every time he glanced her way. Took one step forward just to be knocked three steps back.

"You _knew_ you had to see him today..." she whispered to herself, rubbing her temples with her freshly painted nails. "You _knew _what you were stepping into."

She let out a sigh before reaching into her clutch purse and pulling out the mini bottle of aspirin. She popped two little pills into her mouth, mentally patting herself on the back for remembering to pack them. She knew that one giant headache would come along with the day she reconnected with Elliot.

She cupped her hands under the faucet and caught the water, bringing it to her mouth and washing down the pills that rested against her tongue. She dried her mouth on the purple hand towels that she was sure were only up for decoration, and shut off the tap.

It was now, once again, just her and her thoughts.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

"Is Olivia mad at me?" Asked Eli, hopping onto Elizabeth's lap and earning a kiss to the back of his head. He wondered so desperately why she'd set him down and ran off faster than he'd ever seen her leave him.

"Of course not.." Elizabeth answered.

"Olivia could never be mad at you, champ..." Elliot added, ruffling Eli's hair and kissing the top of Elizabeth's head. "But I've gotta go find her and make sure she's not mad at _me_."

Elliot scanned his daughter's guests unable to spot the one woman he desperately needed to see. He was so tired of avoiding her. He needed to straighten things out with her, not for his sake, but for the sake of the friendship they once had. Olivia knew him inside and out, better than he knew himself, and definitely understood him more than his own wife.

_Ex-wife. _

The divorce had been final sixteen months after he left the precinct. He doesn't like to talk much about what caused it, or what toll the aftermath had taken on him, and definitely not about the things he used to cope with his failed marriage.

Elliot dodged through the crowd of people, squeezing his body between whoever and whatever was in his way. He needed to find her before she left. He needed to explain, to apologize, to make peace..

"Kathleen!" Elliot exclaims, gently grabbing his daughter's shoulder and turning her towards him. "Have you seen Liv?"

"She was looking for a bathroom," Kathleen watched as he looked over at the guest bathroom, at the small line of women standing outside the door. "There was a line so I told her she could use ours upstairs..."

Kathleen barely got her words out before her father darted up the stairs, climbing them two at a time.

"But, Dad, I didn't tell her about-" he was already at the top of the stairs by the time she got to the middle of her sentence, and she assumed he couldn't hear her over the guests that were mingling downstairs. "Oh well. He'll tell her."

Elliot turned towards Kathleen and Jason's bedroom, taking a step back and a sharp breath of air in before twisting the glass knob and pushing the door open.

"Liv?"

"Elliot!" Olivia gasped, clutching her chest as her heart sped up. "You can't just barge in on people!"

"I'm sorry, I-" he shook his head. "I'm sorry. Can we talk?"

"We are talking."

"You know what I mean."

"I don't want..." she squeezed her eyes shut and waited for her aspirin to kick in. "I _can't_ do this right now."

Elliot shut the door behind him and walked closer to her, "just hear me out, please."

"I came here today for Kathleen." Olivia said, folding her arms across her chest and looking up at him with stern eyes. "I didn't come here for a fucking reunion with you. Now move out of my way so I can leave."

"Whoa," he muttered, placing his hands in the air in mock surrender and moving out of the way for her to pass him.

She swayed past him, lightly brushing her shoulder against his. She placed her hand on the doorknob and attempted to twist it. The glass knob wouldn't budge and she began yanking the door.

"El, this thing is stuck..." Olivia said, causing him to smirk slightly at the use of his nickname.

The smirk on his face faded once he realized that they were inside of Kathleen and Jason's bathroom. The bathroom that couldn't be closed all the way because of the fact that it would jam.

"Do you have your phone on you?" Elliot asked, slipping between her and the door and pulling it as hard as he could.

"In my purse.." she mumbled, walking towards the counter and grabbing her clutch.

"Call Elizabeth or Dick..." he said as he yanked the door once more. "Maureen most likely won't-"

"You've gotta be kidding!" Olivia yelled, angrily digging through the small bag as if another pocket would magically appear. She groaned and threw her head back. "I left my phone on the table with Elizabeth."

"And I don't have a cell anymore, _great._" He sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"The window," Olivia said, stepping onto the ledge of the tub with her heels and trying her hardest to slide the window upwards. "Do you think someone will be able to hear me?"

"Yeah..." he said, standing behind her protectively to make sure she didn't fall. "If that window opened. They nailed it shut because it kept opening and making weird noises at night."

"Great." She stepped down from the ledge, placing her hands on his shoulders for stability. "So we're stuck in here until somebody comes up. _If _somebody comes up."

"I'm sorry, Olivia.. it completely slipped my mind that this door is broken." Elliot flipped the toilet lid down and sat atop it.

She shrugged, "s'okay.. this isn't your fault."

Elliot watched as she sat on the edge of the bathtub and placed her hands in her lap, looking around the bathroom.

"This house is beautiful..." Olivia tried to make small talk. As much as she wasn't ready to talk to him, she couldn't stand the awkward silence. "It's Kathleen and Jason's?"

"His parents gave it to him when he graduated college."

"My mom gave me a dozen roses when I graduated college, not a damn house." Olivia smirked, earning a small chuckle from Elliot.

There it was again.

That damn awkward silence.

Elliot cleared his throat and loosened the top button on his shirt, suddenly feeling very claustrophobic. "So, uh... you cut your hair again."

Olivia nodded, self consciously tucking it behind her ear.

"I like it. It looks great." He reassured her.

He really did love it. He loved her long hair, but there was something about this look that he loved even more. It looked the way it did when they first met.

"I see you stopped shaving." She said with a smirk, pointing out his newly grown salt and pepper beard.

"Yeah," he nodded, mimicking her actions and covering his beard self consciously. "Kathleen was kinda pissed that I wouldn't shave it for the wedding, but it took me too damn long to grow it out. No way was I cutting it."

Olivia chuckled softly. He was a pure, stubborn jackass.

Elliot caressed the prickly hair on his face with a sly smile. "Does it make me look sophisticated?"

"No, older actually." She said with a laugh. A few seconds later, their laughter faded and Olivia was now silently fiddling with the stray thread at the hem of her dress.

Elliot looked at his watch and stood up, pacing the restroom. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes landing on Olivia's painted toenails through the peep in her heels. He needed to keep his distance. All he wanted to do was scoop her up in his arms, but he didn't want to earn a kick to the balls. Ever since he heard about William Lewis, he wanted to keep Olivia in a plastic bubble to protect her from any and all pain.

Olivia was still intently twisting the little pink thread in her hands, not bothering to look up or in his direction whatsoever. The small conversation that took place between them was heartwarming. She missed those.

The times when they'd laugh about any and everything, when they could tease each other healthily, both knowing when enough is enough and exactly where the line was drawn. He was her best friend, and somehow she always knew they'd pick up where they left off, but as the conversation faded so did the comfortability.

There was now an awkward, uncomfortable silence and Elliot moved to the other end of the restroom just to get away from her. She figured keeping her mouth shut would be the best thing to do.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

"Just give them some time, Eli.." Elizabeth chastised, sitting her little brother down and cutting up the chicken on his plate.

"But I wanna tell Livia about soccer!" Eli whined, moving away from his sister as she tried to tuck a napkin into his shirt.

"Well, you can tell her later..." Elizabeth finally managed to tuck the cloth napkin into her brother's button down and let out an accomplished huff of air.

"Tell who what later?"

"Eli's just being a bit of a brat,"

"I'm _not _a brat!" Eli snapped, stomping his little dress shoe onto the floor and looking up at his mother as if he was waiting for her to get after Elizabeth.

Kathy rolled her eyes, knowing that Elizabeth truly never stopped picking on her little brother no matter how mature she got. The two of them were hilarious to watch, always going back and forth, but a few minutes of humor was not worth the hours of bickering.

"What are you two going on about now?" Kathy asked, ruffling Eli's curls.

"Lizzie won't let me find Livia!" Eli folded his arms across his chest and shot daggers into his sisters eyes with his own.

"Olivia and Dad are busy! Butt out, crybaby!"

"Wait..." Kathy mumbled, trying to wrap her brain around the news of Olivia being present at her daughter's wedding. "Olivia Benson is here?"

"Yeah, Kathleen invited her.. we talked about it at Dad's birthday dinner!"

"No, I remember.. I just didn't think she'd show up." Kathy suddenly felt that bitter, jealousy running through her veins and didn't want to go back there. It ruined her, her marriage, her family... she quickly changed her tone. "But I guess Olivia would do anything for you kids, hmm?"

"Livia loves us, mom." Eli insisted, placing his hands on his hips. "That's why I have to go find her!"

"Eat all your food first, kiddo... then Mommy will help you find Livia, okay?" Kathy sat him back down on the chair beside Elizabeth and kissed his hair.

Eli sighed heavily, putting his elbows on the table before Kathy swiped them off. "I just wanna tell her about my soccer trophy."

"You can tell her later, Eli. Just fill your tummy."

"What if she leaves me again?" Eli asked, taking a bite of his food.

"She won't."  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Elliot looked over at Olivia, her head resting against the shower wall and her unbelievably long legs outstretched on the ledge. She looked so relaxed, so beautiful. Her soft brown curls fell across her face as she tilted her head, dozing off slightly.

She caught herself, snapping awake and setting her head upright. Sitting up straight and completely removing her back from the tile, she let out a small yawn.

"Sleepy?" Elliot asked from his position atop the counter. He was twisting a towel in his hands, a nervous habit he'd picked up from her.

Olivia shook her head.

"Could've fooled me..." he smirked, noticing how heavy her eyes looked. Olivia didn't react whatsoever, and it was getting so damn quiet. They'd been in there for a little over an hour and they'd barely spoken at all. It was killing him. They'd started off just fine, he thought they were okay.. but the deafening silence of his former partner had proved otherwise.

"How are the guys doing?" Elliot asked, trying to get her back.

"Fine."

"I got invited to Munch's retirement party, but Eli had a school play that same night... did that go well?"

"It did." Olivia answered, thinking back to that night. It was a good night for her. Wrapped up in Brian's arm in a room full of the people she loved.. the only thing that would've mad it better would have been Elliot's presence.

"And Cragen... he's okay?" Elliot missed his old Captain. He was always like a father figure to him, and leaving him was almost as hard as leaving Olivia. _Almost._

"Retired."

"No kidding?" He asked, amazed that the man had finally given up the consuming job that he'd given the majority of his life to. "Wow.. good for him. It was time."

Olivia nodded.

"So I bet you're stuck with some asshole Captain now, huh?"

"Actually, uh, I'm Commanding Officer."

Elliot's jaw dropped and Olivia self consciously tucked her hair behind her ear. "Liv, that's great! I always knew you'd go places..."

"Thank you," she smiled softly.

It was silent for another few moments before he finally asked what he'd wanted to all night. "And how are _you_, Liv?"

"I'm fine." Her signature line. The one she used to get people the hell off her back.

"I've been meaning to go visit you... as soon as I heard, y'know about... you know... with that creep."

"You can say it, Elliot. I was kidnapped." She snapped, suddenly very angry that he knew about Lewis and made no attempt to check on her.

"God, Liv, I just wish I could have _been there_."

"Well you weren't."

"And I'm sorry for that.. I really am." He said, hopping off the counter top and sitting beside her on the edge of the tub. "All I wanted to do was kill the bastard."

"He's dead."

"I heard."

Crickets.

"I just... as soon as Fin called to tell me that you'd been taken-"

"Y'know what, if you don't mind, Elliot, I'd really rather not talk about that right now." That little stubborn piece of hair had fallen once again, but she opted against tucking it back. She let the loose curl drape over her face and dropped her head.

Elliot nodded, "I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry."

Olivia pressed her lips firmly into a thin line, trying to keep her tongue from spewing nasty things his way..

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it, Elliot, it's just you don't _get _to talk about it!" She snapped. "When somebody doesn't give two shits about what's going on in your life, they don't get to discuss it when they decide to show slight interest."

"Olivia..."

"It's like, you woke up one day and decided never to speak to me again. Like I, along with our twelve year partnership meant nothing to you! And you didn't even give me an explanation, Elliot... no words, no reason, no _I'm sorry_..." she chuckled bitterly and shook her head. "And the worst part of it all? You made it look so damn easy."

"It wasn't easy.. leaving the squad, leaving _you_... none of it was easy." Elliot placed his hand on her knee and she harshly moved her leg away. "Liv..."

"_Three years_, Elliot.. you haven't spoken to me in three years. I spent the first few months of your departure desperately trying to get you to talk to me. I called, you sent me to voicemail. I emailed, you changed your address. I wrote, you sent it back. I eventually just gave up!" She was crying now, and she hated herself for it. She allowed herself to completely break in front of Elliot and it was killing her. "And the fact that you _knew _about William Lewis makes what you did ten times shittier!"

"I tried-"

"Save it." She crossed her arms and turned her body away from him.

"Dammit, Olivia!" He grabbed her arm and turned her body towards him. "Listen to me!"

She sat there, looking up at him with glistening eyes and didn't bother to pull her arm from him. He wasn't rough with her, he wasn't hurting her in any way. He loosened the grip on her arm, and she didn't even feel him there anymore. If she wasn't buzzing over the fact that Elliot was touching her after over three years, she wouldn't have even known he was holding her.

"I went to the precinct when you escaped that prick.. I went to see you. To check on you. I even brought you lilies because I know you like them more than roses..." he watched as her face completely dropped. "Cragen told me that you were home, which I was so thankful for. I was so happy that you were getting the rest that you needed. I was gonna go to your apartment, but he told me you moved. Then he told me that I needed to stay away from you, that you were in enough pain and I didn't need to add to that.."

"He said that..." it was more of a statement than a question because she knew just how protective the entire squad was during that time. She would've expected them to turn away cameras, interviews, questions, but not _him_.

"We argued, I threw your lilies in the trash... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything, Olivia. I _should've_ come back. I _should've _called. I know that you're angry and you hate me, and you have every right to, but-"

"I don't hate you. I hate what you did. I hate that you made me feel like I didn't matter to you." Olivia shrugged.

"It was never that, Liv... you mattered more to me than anything else. I just couldn't... I couldn't face the fact that I shot a little girl the same age as my twins... I killed her. I took that girl's life and not a day goes by that I don't think about it."

"It wasn't your fault, El... she had a gun, she was shooting..."

"And you were next." Elliot shook his head, finally letting her arm go and grabbing her hand. "All I could think of was keeping you safe.. when she hit Sister Peg, Liv.. I couldn't help but think that bullet could've been lodged in _you." _

"You should have explained that to me, Elliot. I would've understood why you couldn't talk to me.. why you needed your space and some time. You didn't have to be such an asshole!"

"I wasn't being an asshole!"

"Ignoring me for three years, that's being an asshole."  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Eli dropped his fork onto his plate and wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin tucked into his shirt. "I'm done, mom! Can we go find Olivia now?"

Kathy nodded her head, taking Eli's hands and wiping them clean, knowing he'd just wipe them on his white shirt. "Good job eating all your food."

"I always eat all of my food," Eli pointed out, jumping out of his chair.

"We'll be back, Liz..." Kathy said, placing her hands on Eli's shoulders.

"Will you take this with you?" Elizabeth handed her mother a white iPhone. "I think it's Liv's."

Kathy nodded, wrapping her hand around the phone. She accidentally hit the center button, lighting the phone's screen and revealing a picture of a chubby brown haired little boy as her lock screen. "Cute kid..."

"Come on, mom!" Eli pulled Kathy by her free hand and began dragging her towards the house.  
●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

"And you?" Elliot challenged, standing from the tub.

"What about _me_?" Olivia snapped back, crossing her arms and cocking an eyebrow at him.

"You did the same thing I did..." he watched as she furrowed her brows. "Remember Oregon?"

She scoffed, "that was different. I was _working_, not being a damn coward and hiding from my partner!"

"So now I'm a coward?" He chuckled harshly, then threw his hands in the air. "Keep 'em comin', Liv!"

"Yes, you're a coward!" She stood in front of him. "You're a cowardly asshole!"

"And you're being a real bitch right now!"

Then she slapped him so hard it stung her hand.

Then he grabbed her by her face and kissed her as hard as he could, and she didn't stop him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed him to lift her onto the counter.

Her head was reeling, she couldn't concentrate on anything other than the fact that Elliot Stabler's tongue was inside of her mouth. She didn't want him to pull away, ever.

But Kathy Stabler walking into the bathroom and catching them just as Elliot had began to unzip her dress caused him to do just that.

_**Hahahahahahaha caught in the act. How embarrassing. We'll go over Kathy's reaction next chapter. Hopefully it all goes smoothly... :) also, the reason for their divorce will be brought up as well.**_

_**Is anybody else really pissed that Mariska didn't get an Emmy nom this year? I just really can't believe it. She worked SO hard and her acting was so on point. She pushed herself in every way possible and did things she'd never expected... and still, nothing. But y'know, Mariska doesn't even need awards to prove how great she is. Her foundation, her family, her fans/survivors that stand by and support her no matter what are the things that prove her worth. Not a stupid statue. While an Emmy would have been great, it is definitely not needed. We love you, M! **_


	3. Chapter 3

**This HTML document is automatically exported from StyleNote. Please do NOT modify this file in any way yourself if you want to import it back to StyleNote later.**

Notebook 1

See You Again ch3

_**For those of you who don't like EO, I have nothing to say but, "Bye Felicia!" Read something else because this is a Bensler story. I really am sorry you don't feel Olivia and Elliot would be cute together (first of all, you're completely blind. They'd be precious), but I'm not going to rewrite my story because you don't like my ship. I don't really like Olivia with anybody but Elliot and David. I feel like she could've done sooo much better than Brian, so I just don't ship them. I never have and I never will.. but I don't go around bashing people who like Bensidy. It's their preference so who am I to tell them it's wrong? And to those of you who actually enjoy this story, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are all amazeballs.**_

Opening the door with full arms, Olivia kicked the door closed with her foot and dropped her bags to the floor careful not to drop Noah in the process. She blew her hair out of her face and stood up straight, readjusting Noah onto her hip. She set him down in his walker and handed him a teething ring before kissing the top of his head and heading into the kitchen.

Her work day seemed never ending and all she wanted to do was snuggle her son, eat a hot meal and put her feet up. But of course before she could do that, she had to change out of her work clothes, lock up her gun, cook dinner, bathe Noah and then lay him in her arms as she read to him. Reading to Noah must have been her favorite part of the day. She remembered when her mom would read to her and it was one of the memories she could look back and smile upon, and she wanted that for Noah. She wanted him to look back and remember all the time that his mama spent with him.

She pulled her phone out of her purse and set it on the bar, holding down the power button and turning on the phone. She rolled her eyes at the new text messages from Elliot.

She thought back to the previous week, when Kathy Stabler had walked in on them with their hands all over each other. She ran out of that wedding with her head down and her hair slightly disheveled from Elliot's touch. She didn't even stay for a slice of cake. She apologized to Kathy and Elliot and ditched.

She listened to Noah rattling the little toys on his walker and smiled slightly. He was the one good thing in her life at the moment. His crooked little grin was what she looked forward to coming home at night. His happy giggle and his pudgy little arms reaching for her whenever he saw her. He was her sunshine. The one worth smiling for. She didn't need anything else as long as she had Noah.

Olivia cooked dinner and was now sitting on her barstool in front of Noah's highchair using his plastic blue spoon as an airplane and flying mashed potatoes into his mouth, her lips making little whirs. He giggled, his mashed potatoes sliding down his chin causing Olivia to laugh as well as she spooned them off his chin and back into his mouth.

"You're so silly, my handsome boy..." she gave him another spoonful wearing an open mouthed smile.

Noah babbled nonsensical gibberish as his Mama scooped another spoonful into his mouth. He grabbed at the spoon, wrapping his hands around Olivia's wrist and steadying her hand. He leaned forward and ate the potatoes off the spoon.

Her phone rang, so she reached over to grab it.

_Elliot. Decline._

"I wish people would stop calling Mommy..." Olivia mutters to her son as he turns his head to the spoon, letting her know he was done eating. She set his bowl down and grabbed a towel, wiping him down before lifting him up and kissing his cheek. "All I wanna do is spend time with _you_, Noah.."

Noah looked down at her chest and reached out a pudgy little starfish hand, desperately trying to grasp the gold charm. She kissed the side of his head and headed for the couch.. but a knock at her door stopped her from sitting down. She figured it was Fin checking in on her after such a long day, but as she looked through the peep hole her eyes involuntarily rolled and she couldn't stop the groan that escaped her throat if she wanted to.

Olivia swung the door open, "How the hell did you get my address?"

He didn't speak, and he couldn't take his eyes off the little brown haired baby in her arms.

She scoffed and readjusted Noah on her hip. "What do you want, Elliot?"

Elliot shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips as he watched the baby boy fiddling with the gold necklace around Olivia's neck. His lips pursed and his eyebrows furrowed as his eyes deeply concentrated on that sparkly necklace.

Olivia followed Elliot's gaze and protectively placed her hand on Noah's back, holding him tighter to her chest.

"I won't ask again, Elliot..." she said sternly, still yet to receive an explanation as to why he was standing on her doorstep.

"I just wanted to check on you, Liv.. I got your address from one of your Detectives. Amanda, I think?" he explained, reaching a hand out and stroking Noah's hair only for Olivia to step back with her child. "Jesus, I'm not going to hurt him. Is he yours?"

"Yes, not that it's any of your business."

"Can I come in?"

"You're going to anyway, no matter what I say." She said, turning around and leading him into her apartment.

Elliot watched as Olivia set the baby into his walker and pressed a little red button that lit up and began playing _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star._

"I never even heard you were pregnant..." Elliot said, taking off his jacket and tossing it over the back of her sofa. He stopped walking abruptly. "Oh, God... Liv, is he Lew-"

"No!" Olivia didn't even let him finish his question. William Lewis would not ruin her son. Especially by someone questioning whether or not he fathered her son. "Lewis never raped me."

He let out a breath of air that he didn't even realized he was holding and watched as Olivia turned to smile softly at her son.

"Noah is my foster son.. I'll legally adopt him in a few months..."

"That's great! He's such a cute kid."

"Elliot.. what did you really come here for?"

"To check on you, I told you." Elliot answered, taking a seat on her sofa as she sat at the other end.

"Well, you see I'm fine." She said, pulling her legs underneath her.

"What happened between us at the wedding-"

"Was a giant mistake." She finished.

"I wouldn't say giant..."

Olivia shrugged. Kissing Elliot was not on her agenda for that day and she hated herself for falling for him. For losing herself in him. For allowing him to break her completely and seep into the cracks in her soul.

"Kathy caught us, Elliot. Does that not bother you at all?" She asked, suddenly feeling angry.

"It was awkward, I'll admit, but-"

"Awkward!" She shouted. "It wasn't awkward, Elliot, it was fucking wrong!"

Noah shrieked in his walker before beginning to wail loudly at the sudden tension in the room. Olivia hurriedly scooped him into her arms and bounced him lightly, kissing his hair and patting his back. "Mommy's sorry, baby... I'm so sorry.."

"Olivia, I know you feel guilty about it, but I promise you it's fine." He walked over to her and tilted his head to meet Noah's teary eyes. "You've gotta tell your Mama to calm down, buddy..."

"What happened to the Elliot I used to know? The devout Catholic who wouldn't have committed adultery if his life depended on it?" Olivia asked over Noah's loud cries as she continued to rock and soothe him.

"I guess that devout Catholic lost some of his devotion when his wife divorced him two years ago..." Elliot shrugged.

"Divorce?" Olivia asked, suddenly stopping all movement causing Noah to cry louder. She began swaying from side to side. "That doesn't make this okay, Elliot."

"No you're right.. I guess it doesn't. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't be too thrilled if he found out."

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"I just assumed... with the baby..."

"You just assumed they wouldn't let a single parent adopt a child." She said with a sigh as Noah finally started to calm down. "I'm the only one who's ever given a damn about this kid, El. His biological mother loved him, but other than that... nobody cared what happened to him."

"He's lucky to have you..." Elliot smiled at the little boy who was still hiccupping small sobs while drifting asleep with his index finger in his mouth. "He's almost out."

"Is he?" Olivia turned her head towards Noah and kissed his hair. "We both had a bit of a rough day."

"Coming home to his Mama's kisses must've made it better for him though, huh?"

Olivia sat down on the sofa, cradling Noah in her arms as she began to rock softly and pat his diapered bottom.

"I crossed a line by kissing you... I know that. I apologize for that." Elliot said, pacing her living room as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"I didn't exactly put up a fight, El."

"I initiated it. I tried to take it further by unzipping your dress.."

Olivia shrugged, "we both got swept up in the moment. It shouldn't have happened. I'm just glad it got stopped..."

Elliot nodded, "Kathy was cool about it."

"What did she say?"

_"That was... awkward." Kathy said, setting her glass of champagne onto the nightstand in Kathleen's spare bedroom as she watched Elliot pinch the bridge of his nose. _

_"I'm sorry you had to see that..." Elliot said, sitting down onto the bed that he had been sleeping in for the past two months. Kathleen let him move in when it got too bad for him to be on his own._

_"Now we're even," she shrugged, swishing the last of her champagne in her mouth and twirling the glass in her hands. "I'm just glad Eli wasn't with me when I caught you.. I mean, could you imagine explaining to him why Daddy has his tongue down Aunt Liv's throat?"_

_Elliot couldn't laugh along with her. He didn't think it was funny. Olivia was pissed at him and most likely wouldn't speak to him ever again.._

_And he just got her back._

_"Elliot," Kathy began, walking to the bed and sitting beside him. "it's okay.. really."_

_"I don't think Liv knows that.. she didn't even let me explain."_

_"I'm sure she'll come around."_

_"I think she expected you to punch her in the nose.." Elliot said truthfully._

_"I don't think I have the balls to punch Olivia in the nose.. quite frankly, she'd kick my ass." Kathy laughed._

_"Mommy," Eli ran into the room and jumped onto the bed, squeezing between his parents. "Did you find her?"_

_"Olivia had to get home, Eli..." Kathy said, pulling her son into her arms and tickling him briefly. "We'll see her soon, kiddo."_

_"Daddy, does Livia like soccer? Maybe she can come to my game!" _

_"I think Olivia loves soccer... but she's very busy with work. She might not be able to make your game.." Elliot answered._

_Eli frowned, "everybody's always busy with work."_

"I'm glad she didn't freak out." Olivia said, stroking Noah's soft cheek with her index knuckle.

"Kathy's a lot calmer nowadays..."

"That's good."

"Yeah... she's changed a lot. I just wish she could have been that way when we were married.."

Olivia looked down at Noah who was now lightly snoring in her arms. She shook her head softly knowing Noah had fallen asleep at 7pm without a bath or a fresh diaper. She knew he'd wake up soon.

"Why _did _you divorce, Elliot?" Olivia asked daringly, figuring it was only fair for her to pry into his life when he barged into her apartment unannounced.

"It's a long story..." he said as he sat beside her.

"I've got time," she replied as she stood up, shushing Noah as he began to stir. "Just let me put the baby down.."

_**This chapter was a little short, but I just wanted to post something. I'm so busy with work and getting ready for school AND trying to manage having a social life, I just really don't want this story to get abandoned like my other two. I'm trying to write chapters for those as well so... yeah. Just adding more stress :) hope y'all enjoyed! **_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Back! Happy belated birthday to Peter and Debra, two of the luckiest people in the world to be so close to M. Anyway... enjoy!**_

"Okay..." Olivia exhaled as she gently closed her bedroom door, leaving it open just an inch, with the baby monitor clutched in one hand. She clipped the monitor onto her pants and began clipping her hair back before taking a seat on the other side of the sofa.

"He go back down okay?" Elliot asked as he moved the couch cushion to help make room for Olivia.

"Are you kidding? That kid could sleep through Armageddon.." Olivia teased. In the back of her mind she couldn't help but be thankful that Noah had finally grown comfortable with his surroundings to sleep without waking up screaming. "We just got over night terrors... he's adjusting."

"I'm sorry you've had to go through so much.."

"I'd endure every ounce of pain in existence if it meant that I get to be that sweet boy's Mama..." Olivia said softly, smiling down at the baby monitor in her hands.

"I'm happy for you.. for both of you."

"How happy are you for yourself?" She asked daringly, leaning forward to set the baby monitor on the coffee table before tucking her legs underneath her and crossing her arms. She watched as he shrugged and took it one step further, "since your retirement, the divorce..."

"I.. I don't know, Liv..." he sighed heavily. "Y'got anything to drink?"

"Yeah, 'course." She walked into the kitchen and opened her fridge. "I've got some tea.. water? Uh..." she smirked. "Baby formula or apple juice?"

"No alcohol?"

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, eyeing the top cabinet. She grabbed the only two bottles she had left, "wine or whiskey?"

"Shoot me the whiskey."

"You better be alright to drive, Elliot." She said seriously.

"I'll be fine.." he said as she sat the bottle and a shot glass on the table in front of him. He eyes the single glass, "none for you?"

"If I have even a drop of whiskey I won't be able to get up with Noah if he wakes..." she smiled softly as she sat back down. "Thanks though."

He shrugged, "suit yourself."

After a half hour of trying to loosen himself up with Jack Daniels, Elliot was finally ready to talk about his life since leaving SVU.

"Why did you put in your papers, El?" Olivia asked as she swirled her finger around the rim of her wine glass, figuring it was okay to have just one glass while her son slept.

"I had to... I shot a kid, Liv. I couldn't ever hold my gun again knowing I used it to end the life of a little girl.." he said with one long, burning shot of whiskey. He set the bottle and his shot glass onto the table, figuring he needed to slow down. "She was the same age as my twins.. I just saw Elizabeth laying there in my arms choking on air trying to find her breath."

"It wasn't Elizabeth..." Olivia whispered as she took a small sip of wine, swishing the red liquid around in her mouth before swallowing it down and taking another.

"All I saw was the gun... when I saw Sister Peg go down, all I could think of was how that could have been you.." he shook his head, remembering that day all too well. "I couldn't let her hurt you, Olivia. It was my job to protect you."

"It was our job to protect _each other_ ," she said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "I would have helped you through the aftermath.. you didn't have to sneak out and put your papers in behind my back. You never even said goodbye, Elliot!"

"If I could go back and change that, I would.. I really am sorry."

"I know..."

"So, I went home and Kathy and I drifted apart... we stopped communicating and on the rare occasion that we had sex, it was more of a chore than anything else. A task to mark off of our to-do list.." Elliot admitted, reaching for the whiskey once more. "We fell out of love.. again.. and this time, there was no catching ourselves. She found somebody who gives her the attention she deserves and she's happy..."

"She's dating..."

"We were still married when they started seeing each other. She told me she couldn't hide him anymore, that she was in love and moving into his apartment in Westchester with my son... what could I do to stop her?" Elliot said as he tossed back the whiskey, reveling in the sinfully good burn it produced in the back of his throat. With a raspy voice, he continued. "I wasn't in love with her the way they were each other... it wasn't fair to either of us to hold on for the sake of our kids. We couldn't die unhappy."

"You won't die unhappy, El..." she said as she leaned forward and set her wine glass on the coffee table.

"I took the divorce hard, y'know, even though it was inevitable and we both wanted it.." he put down the bottle and sighed. "I took up drinking and I even got hooked on some prescription pain killers.. slept 13 hours a day and could barely get out of bed to take a piss."

"Why didn't you call me, Elliot? I would have helped you through that..." Olivia's heart was breaking at the thought of Elliot being a pill popper. Her wholesome, put together Elliot.. as weak as her mother.

"It wasn't your burden."

"How'd you get off?"

"Eli came over one weekend.. we were fine, I didn't feel the urge to drink, but he started watching this damn cartoon that was driving me crazy... so, I popped a handful of pills and washed them down with a few beers." He twisted the cap onto the whiskey bottle and slid it towards Olivia. She took the hint and moved it away from him. "I passed out. I vaguely remember hearing my kid screaming for me to wake up.. and I did. But I'm in a hospital bed after they've pumped my stomach and Kathy comes in saying I can't see Eli anymore until I clean up my act."

"And you got sober for the kids..." she said, feeling like a complete asshole for giving him alcohol.

"This whiskey has been my first drink in eighteen months." He chuckled softly at the look on her face. "Don't worry, I'm a big boy... I put the bottle down just now, didn't I?"

"You did..." it was silent for a few minutes before Olivia built up the courage to tell him about the past year of her life. "Y'know, there was a time where I drank a bottle of wine a night.. a _bottle_, not a glass, not two.. the whole damn bottle."

He looked over at her and she's nearly in tears, but she had a small smile playing on her lips.

"It was after Lewis... I couldn't cope. I'd have a glass when I got home, a glass with dinner, a glass with the evening news, a glass before I went to bed, and before I knew it the bottle'd be empty..." she shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I wouldn't call myself addicted, but it scared me. I didn't want to become her."

Elliot doesn't have to ask who to know that she's talking about her mother. "You won't."

"When I got Noah, I dumped most of my bottles down the drain. I kept one for guests, and the whiskey was Brian's, but other than that I vetoed out all alcohol..." she said, looking down at her wine glass.

"Brian..." it came out as more of a statement than a question.

"My ex-boyfriend... Brian Cassidy. We dated for awhile, but we were just too different to make it work. I wanted to settle down and have a family and he wanted to screw hookers..." she chuckled bitterly and tosses back the rest of her wine. "He just didn't understand what I was going through dealing with the aftermath of William Lewis."

"I can't believe you dated that dumbass," Elliot said, suddenly feeling jealous and hot all over.

"He was a good guy for the most part. He just wasn't what I needed at the time."

"I wish I could've been here to help you through that."

"You keep saying that," she shook her head and placed her glass on the table. "But it's okay. I dealt with it."

"What happened with _him_, Liv?"

She closed her eyes and shivered discreetly, still feeling his hands on her breasts and his breath in her ear. "He was the most brutal man I've ever met... he kidnapped me and force-fed me pills and booze, he'd barely let me drink water or use the bathroom... long story short, I escaped. He came back months later and took a little girl trying to lure me to him.. I couldn't let that little girl get hurt because of me. I went to him and he almost raped me, El..." she was crying now and he scooted over to her, testing out the waters and placing a hand on her knee. "I can still feel his hands undoing my belt and grabbing my boobs so hard that I couldn't breathe for a second... but when I wouldn't fight back, he stopped. Wanted to play Russian Roulette instead. We went back and forth and the last bullet was meant for me, but he pulled the trigger on himself. That's all he ever wanted.. to be on my mind 24/7."

"I'm so sorry, Olivia... I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'd kill the son of a bitch with my bare hands if the coward hadn't beaten me to it..." Elliot said, wrapping an arm around her as she buried her face in his chest and cried.

"All I could think of was that I was gonna die a sad, lonely, bitter woman who wasted her life chasing bad guys... nothing to show for, no one to cry for me at my funeral.." she sobbed as Elliot tangled his fingers in her hair, holding her close to his body. "I couldn't die without seeing you one last time, El.. and he knew it. He knew there was someone I was crying for, and it was you."

"I cried for you too, some nights..." he admitted as she continued to cry into his shirt. "When I was in too much pain and couldn't take a pill because of my sobriety, I'd just bawl and scream.. scream for you. Manly, huh?"

"We're both so fucked up.." she said as she pulled away from him and grabbed the balled up burp cloth from the coffee table, wiping at her eyes.

"We both went through a lot. You more than me, unfortunately, but we've still had some pretty eventful years.."

"You're telling me."

"I'm curious, though.." he said, causing her to perk up and look at him. "How exactly have you survived that crazy squad without your number one..."

She chuckled softly, "it wasn't easy. I was really sad for a very long time, but someone had to do it.. and you bailed."

"You always were stronger than anyone I had known..." he watched as she lifted the stuffed shark from the empty space on the sofa between them and pulled it into her lap, picking at the little gray fuzz on its back. "No matter what life threw at you, you adjusted. And you did so damn well at everything. You kicked ass in the Academy from what I hear, you made Detective in such a short amount of time, you are one badass detective if I may say so myself... and here you are now. A single mother recovering from the upmost scariest experience of her life who just made Commanding Officer of one of the toughest squads in the city..."

"You have to keep moving forward, y'know? The world isn't gonna slow down just because you want it to." Olivia said.

"And then you say philosophical shit like that and it's..." he chuckled when she did and they looked up at each other with nothing but pure joy in their eyes. A nice change from the heavy conversation they'd just had. "Is there anything you can't do, Olivia?"

Noah began to cry through the monitor, causing Olivia to smile softly. "Sorry... I'll be right back."

Elliot nodded and watched as she made a beeline for Noah's room. He could hear her through the monitor and he laughed softly when he heard her talking to her son.

_"What's the matter, lovey loo..." _he heard her say through the small device. Noah was still crying, but he assumed she picked him because she was now shushing him and his cries were softening. _"It's okay, shhh... mommy's here, baby boy.."_

Elliot stood from the couch and lifted the monitor into his hand, picking up their glasses and bottles of alcohol before heading into the kitchen.

"_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.."_ he heard her sing and he smiled even wider. She really was knocking motherhood out of the park.

He placed the bottles in the cabinet and began washing their glasses, noticing she still had her dishes from dinner in the sink and on the stove as well. He tossed all the dishes into the sink after searching her cabinets for plastic containers and spooning her leftovers into one.

"You don't have to do that," Olivia said as she padded into the kitchen with Noah on her hip. "I'll get them after he goes to bed.."

"It's okay, I want to help you.. go ahead and spend time with your son."

She can't help the little flurries she gets in her stomach upon seeing Elliot standing in her kitchen with his sleeves rolled up and soapy water along his arms.

It took him ten minutes to clean her kitchen and afterwards he joined her on the couch.

"Noah, look baby..." Olivia turns the boy to face Elliot. "Mama wants you to meet Elliot.. can you say hi?"

Olivia placed her hand in line with Noah's eyes and begins opening and closing it, trying to get Noah to imitate it and wave at Elliot. He did, and Olivia nearly cried.

Noah waved a backwards hand to Elliot before crawling off of his mama's lap and into the middle of the sofa.

"Nice to meet you, Noah.. your Mommy's told me a lot about you." Elliot reached out and stroked Noah's soft hair, causing the baby to look up at him. "Well aren't you just the cutest baby I've ever seen!"

Olivia smiled when Elliot lifted Noah into the air and brought him back down to meet his face as he blew raspberries against his tummy, causing Noah to shriek with laughter. Noah had his fists in his mouth as Elliot continued to tickle him, eventually causing a string of drool to land right between Elliot's eyes.

"Nice aim, kid!" Elliot laughed as he handed Noah to Olivia and wiped the baby drool from his forehead.

"That's my boy." Olivia said proudly as she incessantly kissed Noah's cheeks causing him to laugh.

Elliot watched in awe as Olivia played with her baby, making him laugh louder than he's ever heard. "You're an amazing mother, Liv.."

"Thanks, I try to be..." she smiled as Noah found her necklace once more. "I'm really glad you're back, Elliot."

He smiled, "me too."

_**Geez Louise, the beginning of this chapter was so heavy. No more dark chapters for awhile! Hope y'all enjoyed some sweet, innocent baby lovin'! Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it. :)**_


End file.
